I am about ready to just throw my hands up with this whole photography business!
Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my photography. I really, really love it and I can't see myself doing anything else. Sure I pull my hair out after every shoot thinking I've ruined it all, but when all is said and done, I am really happy with my work and what I am doing. I am having a great time learning new things and seeing my business grow with little baby steps.
It's a slow process, and I fully expected that when I started. I knew it would take a while, several years at least, to really find my style, work out the kinks, and build my reputation. That comes with any business. And to be honest, things are moving more quickly than I ever expected and it's great, but I still know it will take time.
So, what is the problem?
Let me fill you in on a little fact... there are at least 30... probably many more photographers serving this area. And I mean, we are not a big area when you really think about it. Pembroke/Petawawa and maybe a bit of Chalk River/Deep River. If you know this area, you know that it really isn't all that big. But there are 30-40 or more photographers - amateur, professional and everything in between - all competing. It's cut throat. Rates are ridiculously low because everyone is trying to under cut each other - this made it incredibly difficult for me when creating my prices because I knew that I really should be charging more, but at the same time I had to stay with my competition and my competition is charging practically nothing. It is very, very frustrating and I can only imagine how the real professionals feel about it.
It certainly doesn't help that every time I turn around, another photographer is offering their services. It seems that everyone and their dog is a photographer these days.
I don't know, I guess I am just feeling incredibly overwhelmed and intimidated by all of the competition. It doesn't matter that some aren't even good. They are cheap and I am finding people don't care that the photos aren't good and I've seen better photos with an iPhone, all they see is cheap and $50 for an hour session and every single damn photo that was taken, edited or not, in focus or not, good or not. Drives me up the wall how people can be so ignorant of what good photography actually is.
I'm not the best photographer in the world. I'm still learning. But I know I have potential and I am trying my best to tap in to that and learn more and more all the time. I also know that I am a lot better than a lot of the other amateur photographers in this area. And I know that with a few more years of practice and experience I will be just as good as some of the professionals.
But what gets me almost as much as the amateurs who aren't really that good... those that actually have potential and are good. I will come out and completely admit that I have an intimidation problem. I get intimidated very easily, probably because I am overly self-critical and a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my own work. It is one of my biggest flaws. I'm not proud of it. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but I get incredibly discouraged when I see photographers popping up that are actually good, or have the potential to be very good.
And that is where I am now. Several new photographers have popped up that are really quite good and I am feeling a little sub-par (sp?). Yeah, yeah, pity party for one over here. Of course, once I go back and look at my photos I feel a little bit reassured. I am good, just as good or better than a lot of people. But I don't see that. I have a very hard time seeing it when my vision is clouded with other people's photos.
It's something that I am just going to have to get over, because I will never get better if I am constantly worrying about competition and comparing myself to them. I will never find my own style if I do that. I will never be as good as I could be. A little bit of competition is good, it can keep you on your toes, get you to try new things, and force you to better yourself. However, when it starts discouraging you and making you second guess your abilities, then there is a problem.
I am not going to give up on myself and my business. I have felt like I want to several times lately, but I won't. Because I know that despite my self-doubt, I really am good and I really do have potential. With the right education and knowledge, and some experience and experimentation, I will find my own style and in a few years people will come to me because of that. I just have to hang in there and that is exactly what I plan to do.
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